I’ve been slacking lately with all of my financial goals. Up until about a month ago, I was motivated, spending time each night after work doing research for my internet projects, writing in my journal, and tweaking an eBook I’m working on. Then I just stopped. I wasn’t worried at first just because it was a few days of slacking. Whatever. But then it grew to a week…two weeks…and now about a month. It’s a bad feeling when you want something really badly but can’t get yourself to work towards it. That’s where I am now.
On my ride into work this morning I was thinking about it all, dwelling in my misery. I also got to bed late last night because I was watching King of Thrones episodes, then slept through my alarm clock this morning, which led to groggy rushing, which is the worst type of rushing. And rushing is the worst thing to have to do while groggy. It also doesn’t help that today is Tuesday, and I literally have not seen the sun since last Thursday. Gotta love winter in New England. (edit: about an hour after typing that the sun actually poked out) Anyway, I realized I was feeling sh*tty, and decided to stop feeling sh*tty.
My first attempt at lifting my mood was to sing along in a ridiculous accent to the song that was playing, but that only lasted a couple seconds because I felt stupid. Then I chuckled to myself, at myself, and I felt a bit better. Then the words just came to me: “Stop being so hard on yourself.” I almost heard them as if they didn’t come from me, as if they came from some guardian, or a parent. Immediately I felt better. I am too hard on myself. I think most of us are too hard on ourselves. We need to give ourselves a break every now and then, and not feel so bad when we falter. I’ve decided not to look on the last month as a failure, but as having given myself a break. Although I felt guilty throughout due to my lack of productivity, there’s no need to feel guilty now, so I won’t. It’s over and there’s no way I can reclaim that time. There’s only now.
I’ve decided to step back and reset. Reset all of my goals (not change them), start fresh today, right this second. All of a sudden, the dull, nagging guilt in the back of my mind has been replaced with fresh excitement and a renewed sense of purpose. If you’ve been slacking, just reset everything, start anew, and I think you’ll immediately feel better.