“Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating.”
– Richard Neville
This is the conclusion to my 30 days of smoking pot every (week)day experiment. If you found this page without having read the previous updates, you may find it interesting to start at the beginning.
To be honest, I’m relieved it’s over. There were quite a few days that I didn’t feel like smoking during the day, and it was late at night and I ended up smoking not because I wanted to, but because of this experiment. And when I smoke immediately before lying down for the night to reconnect with the non-physical reality, it’s a real pain in the ass to get up when the alarm goes off. And hitting the 15-minute snooze for two hours is a great way to start an unproductive day.
But! There were some good results from the experiment.
First, the bad stuff.
The Bad Stuff
There was a mild but noticeable negative effect on my short-term memory. It was nothing that others would have noticed, just little subtle things that I noticed, like forgetting to do an item on my mental to-do list, or forgetting something on my mental grocery list. But then, I thought, if it was so forgettable, was it that important in the first place? It was not.
I don’t know if this is related to the experiment, although I suspect it is, but I have been significantly less-than-motivated about keeping my environment clean, including, for example, loading/unloading the dishwasher, doing laundry as often as usual, and all of the other mundane, tedious tasks we all have to do as human beings. This is a bit annoying since a cluttered environment enables a cluttered mind (or perhaps its the other way around), but at least it’s easy to fix.
In spite of my expectation that my pot tolerance would go up quickly, enabling me to experience the more relaxed, mellow high I enjoyed throughout my adolescence*, a single hit/drag still gets me higher than I want to be. Maybe I should have forced myself to get really high to build up my tolerance, but that idea was completely unappealing to me. And having smoked by myself all but once, there was no one else there to convince me to smoke more than I wanted to.
Overall, the negative effects were not all that bad.
*I just realized that I first smoked pot when I was 15 years old, which is exactly half of my life ago. How is it possible for time to seem to have gone by so quickly? I’m sure all of you my age, and especially those who are much older can relate.
The Good Stuff & Some Insights
On the plus side, as I mentioned in previous updates, I believe having smoked pot every day for 30 days has helped to expand my mind. The alternate perspective granted by the plant helped me work some things out in my personal life, especially relationships.
I was angry or disappointed with a few people I know in light of recent events, but lying down with my eyes closed after smoking really seemed to enable me to step into their shoes and see things from their perspective, to the point where I felt pretty bad about being angry with them in the first place.
I believe that this pot experiment has made me more empathetic, which is a good thing. It’s so easy for us humans to get caught up in the little spheres of our own minds that we fail to consider the spheres of others, and that maybe we’re the assholes. This has certainly been the case for me in many instances.
I think a lot of people, especially those who lean to the “asshole” side of the spectrum and those who lean to the “takes everything too seriously” side of the spectrum, would benefit greatly from getting high on occasion and thinking about their lives. It would give them a broader view of themselves and probably result in some uncomfortable but important insights.
This one is strange for me to say because with the exception of a bad stretch of years, I’ve had good self-confidence and have been comfortable being who I am, but I feel even more comfortable with who I am after these 30 days. I understand more what motivates me, as well as certain general proclivities I have to act in certain ways, and whereas I would occasionally feel guilty about them in the past, now I accept them as part of who I am, and don’t feel the need to change them, but rather embrace them.
I know that’s vague. Sorry.
To be a bit less vague, I’ve been pretty hard on myself lately. More stressed than usual, worrying more than usual. One night as I lay down in bed after smoking, it occurred to me that I have been too hard on myself. There’s no reason for it. I, like everyone else, am doing the best I can with the limited knowledge I have. When I had that realization, a deep feeling of self-love swept over me. It was as if I were no longer my human self, but my higher self looking down on my little human self, and feeling a lot of love for him. These kinds of realizations are the ones that permeate your entire life for the better.
I think that applies to most people: they’re too hard on themselves. Expecting too much and not being happy with themselves until they get what they expect, which is usually never, meaning they’re always mildly depressed. Just remember: even if it doesn’t always feel like it, you’re doing the best you can, which is enough.
By all means, have lofty goals and pursue them, but realize that achieving them won’t result in happiness if you can’t be happy while pursuing them. Happiness can be had right now with the right mindset. It takes some reflection and a lot of thinking, but it can be had by everyone. And in the end, what good is achieving a goal if it won’t make you happy?
I had another thought about my life since I quit my job over a year ago now: things have gone almost nothing like I had originally planned. But I’m still alive and kicking. And this is how life always goes. What we foresee happening almost never happens, and that’s fine. It’s important to have a plan, but also important to understand that things will almost never go according to that plan, so to keep an open mind with regard to opportunities that pull you away from your original plan.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future.”
– Steve Jobs
Going Forward
In spite of the aforementioned benefits, I will not be continuing with a daily pot habit. It’s just not for me. The idea of being a daily pot smoker simply does not resonate with who I am now.
The benefits I’ve experienced as a result of the experiment won’t go away when I stop smoking. The new perspectives I’ve gained are with me now, and there’s no reason I can see to continue smoking daily. I will, however, probably smoke several times a year, maybe when I’m alone in the woods, or in the woods with my best friends.
I do see how smoking pot daily, or being a “chronic” user as some of these scientific studies classify it, can make people a bit slower mentally, a bit more space-headed, and a bit less productive, generally speaking – some/many individuals are affected differently by pot and everything else, of course.
In spite of the negative effects of pot, I still think it should be legalized. It’s so mild compared with some of the legal drugs out there, and when you combine that mildness with the vast array of medical benefits, it really makes no sense at all not only for it to be as illegal as it is, but for it to be illegal at all.
But then, so many of the laws we live under make no sense because they were written by idiots.
In the end, I learned, I grew, I experienced. Life is all about the experience.
Cheers to you, and best of luck in creating those experiences you most desire.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me or comment below.
I’ll finish with a few pics:
