Think Like Police to Avoid Getting Fleeced: 12 Ways to Avoid Speeding Tickets

There’s nothing wrong with a little speeding as long as you’re not being reckless or dangerous. Because I assume the fine readers of this website have at least a modicum of common sense, I won’t include any disclaimers such as “Don’t drink and drive” and “Don’t speed recklessly”.

I used to get a lot of speeding tickets. Once I wised up, I didn’t speed any less, but I stopped getting tickets. I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket since 2006.

And now that I wrote that out, I’ll probably get one tomorrow.

Follow these twelve rules and you’ll reduce or eliminate your odds of getting a ticket:

1. Speed in familiar areas

It’s much better to know the area in which you’ll be speeding so you are aware of common cop hideouts. For example, near me there’s a church parking lot where cops love to hide out with their radars (they want to feel like God is on their side). I never speed past that lot, and whenever I see a cop in there pointing his little radar gun at me, I giggle like a preteen schoolgirl.

2. Don’t speed around bends in the highway

Often you’ll see cops close to bends in the road because speeders can’t see as far ahead as they can on straightaways, so the cops will sit just past the bend and snag speeders who can’t slow down in time.

3. Slow down as you approach hidden median crossovers

Cops like to sit in the no-access roads that cross the medians of highways because often they can be very hidden there, and by the time the speeders see them, it’s too late. Don’t go too fast past the hidden ones because there very well could be a cop waiting to force a deduction from your bank account.

4. Don’t accelerate down hills

A lot of the time speeders will go even faster while going downhill. The reason for this is that familiar, ubiquitous little force called gravity. Cops are in fact aware of the force, so they’ll often sit at the bottoms of hills, stalking their prey (that’s you).

5. Beware of shrubberies

I’ve seen many cops hiding out behind bushes and thick trees when they’re close to the highway. Whenever you see what could be considered a good spot to hide as a cop, beware. Think like a cop and you won’t get popped.

6. Watch for brake lights

When you see the brake lights of several cars ahead of you go off simultaneously, there’s a good chance it’s because they’re slowing down for a cop. This should be a BIG warning flag for you. Obviously when cars brake, you do as well. But even if they’re far off in the distance, be aware that this could mean there’s a cop there.

7. Follow other speeders

Sometimes you’ll get lucky and someone will pass you at a brisk speed. This is a golden opportunity because it allows you to speed with almost no chance of being pulled over…if you do it right. Follow the car at a distance which allows you to keep up with him, but far enough away that the cop will reveal himself to you by putting on his flashers to pull over your leader speeder before he reveals himself behind you. Also make sure to notice when your leader car brakes. I’ve followed many a speeding car that has been pulled over, but I’ve been far enough away to avoid the same unfortunate reduction in net worth.

8. Be careful crossing state lines

I live in Connecticut, and very often when I cross from Vermont into Massachussetts, or Massachussetts into Connecticut, for example, there will be a cop waiting there to welcome speeders into their state with a hefty fine. I don’t know why cops like these state borders, but beware.

9. Know what’s behind you

You should always be aware of the traffic behind you. As you have probably noticed, cops are the worst speeders, even when they have nowhere to be. They drive so fast because they can. That means they could approach you from the rear, then pull you over for going too fast (although more slowly than they were). Douchebags.

10. Know their headlights and tail lights

If you don’t already know exactly what they look like, you should familiarize yourself with how cop car headlights and tail lights look. Most of them look the same, so if you see headlights which you suspect could be a cop’s, slow down. This is of course mostly a tip for night speeding.

11. Be aware of unmarked cop cars

Unfortunately, unmarked cop cars are actually a thing. I’ve seen some crazy ones, including an unassuming Toyota Camry. Who would ever think a Camry could be a cop car? There really isn’t a guard against this tactic of theirs, other than to be wary of likely undercover models such as Dodge Chargers, Ford Explorers, and Dodge Durangos, for example. If you get pulled over by a cop in a Camry, just chalk it up to bad luck on your end and cheeky tactics on theirs.

12. Speed in the rain

Of course, it’s a bit more dangerous to speed when it’s slick out, so take that into consideration. However, when it’s raining out, cops are much less likely to pull you over, so feel free to dispense with some of the rules above. If you were a cop, would you want to stand in the rain outside someone’s car? No. My cop friends have confirmed to me that they are much less likely to pull someone over when it’s raining out. After all, they are human, which you may not have known.

If I save even one responsible speeder from a speeding ticket and possible insurance premium increase, this post has been worth it. I only ask that you return to this site and donate some of the estimated cost of that ticket to me 😉

Disclaimer: I’m not encouraging you to speed like an idiot. I’m just trying to help you avoid tickets if you occasionally like to get to where you want to go a little faster, without the financial and temporal cost.