Should vs Could

Many years ago I read a wonderful book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I highly recommend it for every human.

I thought of it recently but couldn’t find my original copy so I got another one, and just started rereading it.

Last night as I was reading, an idea stuck with me, and it’s the focus of this short post.

What are all the things you think you should be doing in your life?

If you’re like me, the list is long, and it causes some level of anxiety.

Hay says the word “should” is not helpful and should be taken out of our language altogether. It embodies/connotes/engenders negative emotions, judgment, limitation, a sense of a lack of self worth (“I have so many things I should be doing, why am I not doing them? What’s wrong with me?”)

Replace the word “should” with “If I really wanted to, I could” and see how that list of yours transforms.

Try it right now with one thing you think you should be doing.

For me, in this moment, I look outside of my office and there’s a deflated kiddie pool I’ve been intending to throw away for a while, but it would take up a lot of space in the garbage bin, it was covered in ice until recent warm weather, I’ll get dirty doing it, it’s gonna suck, blah blah.

I should throw that thing away.

If I really wanted to, I could throw that thing away.

Yeah, that feels a lot better. If I really wanted to, I could do it. It’s just that I haven’t really wanted to, that’s all.

And in the 5 mins since I typed that last sentence, I went out and finally threw it away.